Three mornings per week at the ass-crack of dawn, I get up at 4:45 to attend a boot camp fitness class. A class I pay money to attend and be yelled at like some criminal in the prison system all in the name of fitness. I thought I would share these highly valuable lessons I have learned in such a short amount of time.
1. Boot Camp is a four-letter word.
2. Never tell the Sargent your name. Doing so will result in being called out periodically (frequently if you are like me and you need to stop and pick your heart up off the floor).
3. 100 pushups is considered a "warm-up."
4. Drill Sergeants are never nice. They are merely setting you up to have your ass kicked again.
5. The miracle mile involves running 55 flights of stairs should be called "It’s-a-miracle-if-you-don’t-die-trying-to-finish-it-mile."
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?
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